Coronavirus Lockdown Advice

21 May

It’s been a while, gang. Much has happened since last post.

Interesting times we live in, eh? 

Hope you’re all staying safe and healthy. Wash your hands and wear your masks. For those of you not wearing masks, kindly get over your issues and just wear the damn mask.

Sun Chronicle columnist Bill Gouevia sums it up nicely here: 

“Wearing a mask is not a symbol of submissiveness. It is not a political statement, nor a sign of weakness. Masks are a serious attempt to keep people safe and speed up our long journey to economic recovery. So whine about it if you must. But wear your masks in public in crowds. It’s a small price to pay to pay for saving lives.” 

That said, I’ve heard from some of you regarding lockdown boredom. Here’s my advice…

Hang in there, everyone. Sending best wishes to all!

And the Award for Most Creative Holiday Deception Goes to…

24 Dec

… Lisa VanDyke Brown! I win the award for Most Creative Holiday Deception! Hooray! I’m so proud I could burst.

How did I win one of the highest accolades of parenting? First, let’s get something else out of the way. Here’s this year’s official holiday pic…

Now let’s get to what’s REALLY important: Merford. Friends, this is a really big deal…

Behold the majesty of my Rob Halford merman ornament, a very thoughtful gift from my pal, Sam.

In a stunning feat of deception, I expertly informed the children that Rob is holding a bottle of ketchup and eating cannoli. Please address me by my new name: Mother of the Year. Thanks in advance.

Yeah, they’ll catch on eventually, but not this year. Such a magical age!

Happy holidays, gang. Peace, love, and metal to all.

 

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year Again …

4 Mar

It’s March 4, and you know what that means …

That’s right, smarty pants: IT’S NATIONAL GRAMMAR DAY!

Wooohooo! Par-TAY! Happy Grammar Day, mofos. March forth on March fourth to celebrate the splendor of speaking and writing well.

Grab a red pen and hunt for errors. Read a grammar haiku. Revisit Strunk & White’s “Elements of Style.” Hug an editor. Take an online grammar quiz.

Just go totally nuts today, OK?

New Patron Saint

8 Oct

Marquis de Favras

“I see that you have made three spelling mistakes.” 

Those are the last words of Marquis de Favras after reading his death sentence before being hanged (1790)

It doesn’t get much more fab than that, my friends. 

Why was he hanged? Learn more about M. de Favras here.

Paved with Good Intentions?

9 Apr

Behold, the road sign leading to the Methodist Bible Camp in Blountville, TN. 

Naturally, it’s a dead end. 

This sign is glorious. Viva fails! 

This concludes our Monday moment. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. 

Valentine’s Day: Don’t F**k It Up

14 Feb

For more aggravation, check out Twitter’s ever-growing feed of folks tweeting their precious hearts out about “Valentime’s Day.” While some are intentional spelling gaffes, many others, sadly, are not. Enjoy, lovers! 

This Make’s Us Sad, Too…

15 Jan

via DublinLive

Behold: the Dublin, Ireland “Anti Dog Fouling” campaign. The signs were placed outside schools, and in a number of spots in the city. Now, the Dublin City Council will take them down and begin again.  

Just another reminder to control your apostrophes, my friends.

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