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Coronavirus Lockdown Advice

21 May

It’s been a while, gang. Much has happened since last post.

Interesting times we live in, eh? 

Hope you’re all staying safe and healthy. Wash your hands and wear your masks. For those of you not wearing masks, kindly get over your issues and just wear the damn mask.

Sun Chronicle columnist Bill Gouevia sums it up nicely here: 

“Wearing a mask is not a symbol of submissiveness. It is not a political statement, nor a sign of weakness. Masks are a serious attempt to keep people safe and speed up our long journey to economic recovery. So whine about it if you must. But wear your masks in public in crowds. It’s a small price to pay to pay for saving lives.” 

That said, I’ve heard from some of you regarding lockdown boredom. Here’s my advice…

Hang in there, everyone. Sending best wishes to all!

And the Award for Most Creative Holiday Deception Goes to…

24 Dec

… Lisa VanDyke Brown! I win the award for Most Creative Holiday Deception! Hooray! I’m so proud I could burst.

How did I win one of the highest accolades of parenting? First, let’s get something else out of the way. Here’s this year’s official holiday pic…

Now let’s get to what’s REALLY important: Merford. Friends, this is a really big deal…

Behold the majesty of my Rob Halford merman ornament, a very thoughtful gift from my pal, Sam.

In a stunning feat of deception, I expertly informed the children that Rob is holding a bottle of ketchup and eating cannoli. Please address me by my new name: Mother of the Year. Thanks in advance.

Yeah, they’ll catch on eventually, but not this year. Such a magical age!

Happy holidays, gang. Peace, love, and metal to all.


In Memoriam

4 Jan


Pomchi pistol Mary Poppins VanDyke Brown (age 10-ish) crossed over on January 3, 2017. She battled congestive heart failure for a year, and her tiny body was tired. It was a perfectly peaceful transition; she was in my arms.

From her hard-knock beginnings as an injured country stray to an anxious, long-term shelter resident to a lady of leisure and style with an editorial side job, Mary’s life ran the gamut. Loyal, loving, saucy, and cantankerous, Mary was straight fire, and we’re lucky she came our way. 

Adios, lil’ red sass. Immense love to you. 

Happy Palindrome Week!

14 Jun

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 8.07.21 PM

Few things make us happier than palindromes. This week, they shine even brighter. We love you, palindromes; this week, and always!

Our fave palindrome, you ask? Lives drown in words evil.

Want more palindromes? Here ya’ go…

Happy Holidays!

20 Dec

Happy holidays from my family to yours.

The very best to you in 2014; may it be all that you hope.

Whoa! What’s Going On?

24 Apr

The blog needed a facelift, dahling. The ol’ dame was looking a little saggy. 

Please tell her she looks gorgeous, even though we all know she won’t look normal for about eight months or so. 

Thanks in advance. 

The Devil Wears Ice Skates

8 Mar

frozen hell

I’m on Facebook. 

You may gasp now. 

Please like me

God, I feel so vulnerable. 

Don’t worry, you won’t have to look at gobs of baby pics—it’s my business page. But please like it anyway. 

I feel so vulnerable again

This “like me” stuff is challenging. 

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