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Why Death Is an Ironic Mofo

22 Mar

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Because Chuck Berry and Chuck Barris within a week, that’s why.

I just can’t with that. Flawless. I might fall over. Spot me. 

While Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds still take the cake, this is another wow moment for the death show, my friends.

Bon voyage to game-show guru and self-proclaimed CIA hitman, Chuck Barris.

Some people called him “The Baron of Bad Taste.” Haters. They were just jealous of his super-slick dance moves. Everyone knows that. 

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Sassy Dancer of the Day

13 Oct

Best. Flower girl. Ever.

11 Aug

Flower Girl Pearl

That gown. That scowl. That finger. 

Congratulations to my daughter, Pearl Mae, on her first flower girl gig. 

She sobbed and refused to walk down the aisle. 

Pearl has everything it takes to win. 

I’ve always said I’d rather die than be a pageant mom, but if anyone knows of any shade-throwing pageants, kindly let me know, because we’re all in. 

(P.S. Pearl’s gesture is totally unintentional. Fab fluke.)

R.I.P.

27 Jan

Michele Arnold 2

We’ll miss you dearly, Michelle.

+ + + 

“I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” 

Jimi Hendrix, Axis: Bold as Love 

Icon of the Day

20 May

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Claire Lovell, geriatric social columnist for Oregon’s Daily Astorian, screams ‘elderly Lisa’ for the following reasons:

1. Her column is called Scene and Heard. Sassy!
2. She begins this column with some grammar policing, then…
3. Shares details of Kay-Lynn’s style show at Dooger’s (and it’s a miracle she made it there alive—someone get this woman a Life Alert!), and wins for “Scarves were freely in evidence.”
4. She’s hot for surfers.
5. Fashion statements and body art: Claire’s got it covered.

For these five reasons alone, my husband will be embarrassed by me on at least a weekly basis in our golden years. He’ll probably spend a lot of time doing his own thing… like surfing, a favorite pasttime. I’ll show up (with my sidekick, Myrna… she might be a drag queen) at the beach and make catcalls. 

Claire is Come Correct’s icon of the day. Heck, maybe the year, who knows?

Click here for Claire’s column. 

Fab Alert!

14 Apr

facebook.com/pages/Planet-Hiltron

Bwaaahahaha!

Behold: Celebrities Photoshopped to Look Like Ordinary People, courtesy of artist Danny Evans and the geniuses at Demilked

What’s your fave? 

I give Britney first place, followed closely by Tom Cruise, with Rihanna in third. 

Side note: I miss British Britney

Mary Poppins is a Pop Star!

12 Dec

Please click here to witness the splendor of the pop singing debut of my dear pooch, Mary Poppins!!! 

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